Is this for Real? part II
by strange1
Summary: This is after bringing home Angelica from the hospital. This time, it's from Tina's point of view. Set after season two. Added more and will as long as there is feedback.
1. Chapter 1

AN-Here's another take on the fanfic only from Tina's point of view. Again, set after season two. Hope you enjoy.

Tina could feel Bette was a bit distant from her. She could also feel, though distant, just how tense her lover was. The young blond could not blame her. There were so many things going on and so quickly that anyone would be tense. A part of herself was not completely relaxed either. After how many years together, it was strange to feel like this.

They once had what people would call the perfect relationship. True, they had their ups and downs. And over the years they had slightly drifted apart. But the two had loved one another in a way so few people ever got the chance. They were one of the lucky ones in the universe. To finally be back beside her was the greatest feeling in the world.

She wanted nothing more than to reach out and wrap her arms around her, to tell her everything was going to be all right. But that was something that she simply could not do. For as good as it felt to be lying next to her partner, there was still the fact that she would have to fully get past the fact that her lover had cheated.

It was something that she hated to dwell on. Her stomach ached with an acidy fire with just the mere thought of Bette with another woman. But she knew it was partially her fault as well. Had she not so many times let Bette dismiss her feelings or be a bit more aggressive in expressing how she felt, perhaps they would not have been separated at all.

There was another blessed event sleeping beside them. She could hear the faint breaths of her little one. Angelica was perfect in every way. It really was like there had been a mergence of the two and she was the creation. It was all out of love that she had been brought into the world. And it was love that she was now surrounded by.

Would the two be able to get past all the things that had set them apart? Only time would tell. One thing Tina knew for sure, this was the happiest she had been in months. Her time with Helena had been a mistake. The other woman had wanted nothing more than a pregnant woman and someone to control. That was never going to happen for her. Any of her relationships would be give and take, in fact, a true partnership.

At this moment, though there were probably tough times ahead, she could not see herself without Bette by her side. It was as if the two were the other halves of each other and simply did not work while not together. This felt so right, to feel the breathing of Bette next to her. It calmed her and made her feel at peace.

Only time would tell if the two truly were meant to be together. At this moment, it felt more real than anything in her life ever had. She would do anything to try and keep them together. And she would do anything to protect her baby. In a way, she wished this night would never end. That she could be forever next to her lover. There would be only one thing that would make it more perfect.

Finally she decided to get what she really wanted. "Aren't you sleepy?" She whispered carefully as to not wake their sleeping daughter.

"Exhausted." Bette leaned over and kissed her partner gently on the lips. "Just got a lot on my mind. But trust me when I say, I'm the happiest I've been in years. I never want us to be a part again."

"I agree." Tina smiled sleepily at her. And now, for she really wanted. "Now, wrap your arms around me and let's get some sleep. Won't be too long before it's feeding time."

"With pleasure." Bette wrapped both her arms around Tina. The two snuggled so closely, you could not tell where one started and the other ended. For now, the two were as one. They were a family.


	2. Chapter 2

AN-Well, guess I'll try some more from Tina's point of view. I've got a bit of following from Bette's. Hope you enjoy. Feedback is always welcomed. More feedback equals more chapters. Thanks all.

What was she doing? Tina had no clue as to what she was doing. It was late at night. Bette was off doing something. Buddhism seemed to be her latest cure all for the situation that they found themselves in. It wasn't totally Bette's fault that money was tight but she could use her head more when it came to spending.

Their credit cards were already getting maxed out as was proof by Jenny's welcoming home party. Had that even made a dent on her lover's spending spree? No, she was still buying new clothing that she didn't need, books that seemed to be a waste, and now going to this meeting that was just a way of alienating her.

Was that why she was sitting here late in the dark by herself in front of Bette's laptop? Had things gotten that far out of hand where their connection that had once come so easily was now a strain to keep as a stronghold? Or was it all in Tina's mind that things were as strained as they were? There was not much that the young producer was sure of anymore.

She sat here writing back and forth on how wet she was because some guy had a hard on for her. Once she had met Bette she never thought for a second that she would even be the slightest bit interested in having a man in her life in the physical way. Their love life had once been so amazing that she had never wanted for anything more.

But since Bette had cheated, it had become difficult to be intimate. All she could do was think of someone else with her hands all over the woman that she used to love so much. It had broken that bond that they were supposed to have. It had not broken but destroyed it to a near unrepairable place.

The fact that she herself had just had a baby and wasn't feeling the most attractive probably was helping to hurt their chances together. But why turn to a man? What did a man have that a woman didn't? That was obvious. But did she really want some guy's dick inside of her? Had she really returned to the land of the straight? Or was this simply a reaction to everything that was going on?

She slammed the computer shut. It was true that their relationship was strained and would never be the same as it once had been before but did that mean that she was ready to give up on women in general? Did it mean that she was ready to go back to a place and time when she felt comfortable and safe? That her life was not being judged by everyone else because she had fallen for a woman instead of a man?

There was also little Angelica to think of. Anything she did would affect her little girl. There was no way, no matter what was happening between herself and Bette that she would deny her daughter both mothers. That was one thing that she was certain of was that she would make sure that Bette had a place in their daughter's life.

But what place did she have in Bette's life anymore? It was as if she had outgrown the relationship that they once had. It was when she had given up her identity and quit working that things had changed so dramatically between the two. But was that everything? What was the real reason that the two now found it so difficult to be together? Her thoughts were back to what she had typed on the computer screen. Yes, she wanted him to fuck her. She wanted a man inside of her. But was it for real?


	3. Chapter 3

AN-Here we go again. Thanks for the feedback. I hope you enjoy it.

Working for Helena was interesting to say the least. Tina could see what was going to happen but she could not warn her friend and former lover. The woman was headstrong and all too often she lead with her heart and not her head. It made for an amazing woman but also for someone to be taken advantage of.

What was stranger was the attraction she felt for the newest director. He was good looking and charming. But he was also an ass as she had come to find out. All she wanted was for him to be inside of her like it had been before she had met Bette. She was looking for a relationship just a good time.

But the guy had been crass. Why had he had to mention the fact that not long ago she was a lesbian? Why couldn't he have just had his way with her? She had been a sure thing. All she wanted was for him to take her and take her over and over again. But no, he had to be this macho jerk that didn't believe in girl on girl action.

It was not exactly that she wanted to give that up either. There was nothing wrong with falling in love with someone. But there was something wrong when they proceeded to try and control your life and every move that you made. There was something wrong when you no longer felt right in a relationship that you thought would be the last one you'd ever have.

That was why she had gone through with the second insemination and why they had little Angelica together. At one point, she felt their love and connection was so strong that nothing could destroy it. But then Bette had cheated and it had shattered that bond. Tina was now wondering if it was beyond repair.

Was that why she had wanted to have the affair with a man? Or was she really going back to boys' town? She was still not sure of how she felt. And yet, there was someone else now that was peaking her interest. He already had a son of his own. The two had an instant connection over the kids. Could that lead to more?

Part of her wanted nothing more than that. Part of her wanted to bury so deep all that she had with Bette. There was no one that had gotten her like her ex. There was no one that loved her like her ex. She needed to destroy it and completely. The only way she could do that was to be with a man. It was the total opposite of what she had with her ex.

But was it really what she wanted? Was destroying the one thing that had made her happier than she ever had been the right thing to do? Or was she just hurt so badly that all she wanted to do was to get back at Bette the way that would be the most painful? Revenge was a dish best served hot. But was this revenge?

Tina looked at the picture of Bette holding Angelica. It made her heart sing. It made her entire body sing. If she were true to herself that was what she wanted was for her family to be back and not here with Henry preparing to have sex with him. All she wanted now was to forget what 

Bette had meant to her. That way having had it destroyed the way that it had would not hurt so much.

Or would it? Tina felt Henry inside of her and it made her want to cry. Not because he was giving her such pleasure. But because it was the final straw in killing what she had once shared with Bette. Because she was not sure if or when she would ever be happy again. Because she was not sure if she could get back to the place she wanted to be. She was too afraid that she had fallen to hard and fast to ever get back to that place again.


End file.
